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Writer's pictureFlorida DeVaul-Dudley

The Significant Other and the Trauma Survivor

Living with a significant other that is still healing from the trauma of the sexual assault and or domestic violence can be difficult. There are times when it can feel overwhelming and you may need to take a step back and focus on self-care. It is important to remember that this person is still healing, and sometimes their behavior may be unpredictable or challenging.


Their changing and unpredictable behaviors may at times be difficult to understand and it can feel like no matter what you do nothing is helping. It is important to remember that their trauma may be making them respond in certain ways and that they need your understanding and compassion during this time.


These changes that they are going through can be hurtful to their significant other, but it is important to remember that at the root of their behavior is a person who has been hurt and needs love and support. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it can be beneficial to seek out counseling or other mental health resources to better understand how you can help your partner through this difficult time.


It is also beneficial for both partners to communicate openly with each other about what they need to move forward in a healthy way. This includes setting boundaries and respecting each other's needs. It may also be helpful to practice self-care regularly, as well as seek out outside support from friends, family, or professionals if needed. Taking time for yourself can help reduce stress and ensure you're taking care of your own needs.


It is important to also remember that you cannot save them or fix their trauma. You can provide emotional support and be there for them when they need it, but ultimately they have to do the inner work themselves to heal from the trauma.


It is important to talk openly and honestly about their needs, triggers, and emotions. This can help create a safe environment for them to talk about the pain and fear associated with the trauma and allows you both to understand each other better. Additionally, boundaries must be established regarding the limits of what you can handle during this time. It is okay for you to take some space if needed or ask for help from family or friends if things become too overwhelming.


It can also be helpful to remember that the healing process takes time, and everyone's journey is different. There are steps that both partners can take together to ensure a safe and supportive environment in which both parties can heal. This includes getting professional help such as therapy or counseling, creating boundaries so that both people are respected, and practicing patience and empathy with one another.


By working together through the healing process, couples can create a strong foundation for their relationship and work on moving forward from the trauma.


It is important to be patient and understanding of their behavior. It may help to keep a journal or talk with a therapist about how you are feeling so that you can better manage any emotions that come up for you in the relationship.


It is essential to set boundaries with your significant other so that neither of you is overwhelmed or taken advantage of. Having clear expectations in the relationship can help create a safe and healthy space for both partners to communicate and grow together.


It is important to remember that while it may be uncomfortable, talking about the trauma openly can help understand how it has impacted the relationship. Furthermore, setting up regular check-ins with each other can help ensure that both partners feel supported and heard in the relationship.


Lastly, taking time out for self-care activities such as yoga, exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends or family can also be beneficial in managing any challenging emotions associated with this kind of relationship. Taking care of yourself first is essential for maintaining balance and stability in all relationships.


Regardless of how difficult it may be, it is important to remember that with patience, understanding, and dedication to healing from trauma together, you can create a stronger bond within your relationship. Creating an environment of open communication, support, and non-judgment will help both partners through this challenging time and lead to healthier connections in the future.


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